Fidelity at it's best

One of the many nights that I got pulled to the med-surg floor, I received an older gentleman in his 80's that had an open abcess related to a complication of surgery on his lower abdomen.  The report that I had gotten said that he was a walkie-talkie,  meaning that he is of the normal function and a low maintenance patient.  I was pleased to have an easy one , because I had more than my usual number of patients to tend to on that floor. 
When I entered the room to assess him, he was with it, and answered all questions appropriately.  I tucked the sweet gray headed man in bed and I told him that I would be back with his medications at 9pm and I would change his dressing. 

When I came back to the room about an hour later he was standing at the side of his bed fully dressed.  I asked him why he put his clothes back on, and he said that his wife was coming to pick him up. 
Now when your dealing with the elderly, I hate to offend people who aren't senile, so I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Since he was with it earlier, I didn't know if his wife was really coming, or if he was looney tune. 
When I started prodding him with more questions about why she was coming so late,  I began to realize he had  sun-downers.  This man had also pulled out his IV, urinary catheter (bulb intact), and taken all the packing out of his wound, then very carefully, folded it ALL neatly on the bathroom counter for me. 
The man was very calm and sweet, a Christian man I could tell.  He was very modest about putting the gown back on after I finally talked him into it.  I had him to lay back in the bed so I could put his dressing back on and when I lifted his gown, he gave me a dirty look and said, "No! We can't do that!".  I re-oriented him again and told him that is what the doctor wanted me to do, and he said, "That man is crazy! My wife is going to be so mad!".  I then told him that he had a good doctor, and his wife wanted me to take care of him tonight so he could hurry and come back home.  Call it lying, or ad lib for the senile, but I know how to sweet talk some old folks into doing what I need them to so I can get my job done. 
The man had a death grip on his gown and blanket to keep me from getting to his lower stomach,  but he finally let go and said, "well, if we have to then". 
I pulled the sheet and gown back to start preparing my area to dress and pack the wound.  He then looked at me with a big look of honest relief and said, "she always said my penis was just for her, I can't believe she's letting me do this".